


this love of ours is ridiculous

by preciousghouls



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, that civil war scene TM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousghouls/pseuds/preciousghouls
Summary: Despite it all, despite everything, the most ridiculous thing of all, is having a soulmark tied to Steven Grant Rogers.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	this love of ours is ridiculous

**Author's Note:**

> a shorter than usual one, because i want to apply for the 'you gave me a home' stony zine (applications open till 15dec!!)  
> it's so short i'm not sure what to tag it as, please let me know if you have any ideas.  
> i may write a full length soulmates!au in the future. meanwhile, hope you enjoy!

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks, the first time Howard raises his voice. Tony had just wanted to find out what were the words on his father’s arm that brought him together with his mother, two people he would’ve never matched together in his own head. Howard’s face had darkened to the skies of a stormy day, yelling for Jarvis to get him out of the lab. 

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks, when he’s barely five foot tall and carrying a bag too big for him, sitting in a classroom meant for the talented teens of the country. He isn’t a teen, yet. He’s still a child. A bright one, sure. But Tony always cries when he returns to his dorm, muffing his voice in his pillow as he calls out for his mom and dad. That’s the first time he wishes he knows who his soulmate is, someone who’s meant to be there for him, _ with _ him. 

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks, as he stands on a podium with a blank expression in his best suit. He’s supposed to wear that for his graduation in a week’s time. Instead he’s reading off a piece of paper, thanking faces he doesn’t know for taking their time to come to his parents’ funeral. Obie is standing a few feet away, his presence a much needed comfort. Tony misses Jarvis dearly, and decides if this is how it’d feel to be left behind, he doesn’t want to meet his soulmate. 

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks, that he is pursuing part-time studies when he is the CEO of Stark Industries. Obie had said as much, but he was more than willing to shoulder the burden. Tony doesn’t know what he will do without him. And in MIT, he meets Rhodey. His Sourpatch, his Honeybear, his first friend. There are moments in the dark when Tony wishes Rhodey is his soulmate, because he loves him. He really does. Yet at the same time, he knows he wouldn’t change the current dynamic they have for the world.

_ It’s ridiculous,  _ Tony thinks countless times as he grows up. It’s ridiculous that his parents’ words were not a match, but hard-won love that ultimately ended in tragedy. It’s ridiculous how one Pepper Potts comes willingly to him five years later, asking for an interview to be his PA, and has stayed ever since. It’s ridiculous how his bots seem to know how to hide the new bottle of wine, under the guidance of his AI, JARVIS. 

It’s so ridiculous, Tony thinks when he wakes up in a cave with a hole in his chest, one Ho Yinsen dooming his fate by opening his mouth and speaking in multiple tongues. It’s less ridiculous that he builds a suit while in captivity and manages to escape thanks to it. 

(It’s ridiculous, how he can barely find it in him to cry when Yinsen tells him to live, to not waste his life, and Tony finds that he was the first to say that.)

It’s ridiculous when he becomes a man in a can, when he comes out as Iron Man after killing Obie, when he becomes part of the Avengers Initiative, and is told that aliens and Gods and everything beyond do truly exist. 

Despite it all, despite everything, the most ridiculous thing of all, is having a soulmark tied to Steven Grant Rogers. 

*

Soulmarks are a gift. 

Those are words on equal footing as  _ Happy birthday _ ; existing in every language. They are a gift, for not everyone has the honor of receiving it. Some go through their lives without ever seeing their soulmark, even if their soulmate has it. They say it is karma for the things they have done in their previous life, and so they deserve to die lonely and in pain this time around. 

They say there is nothing more gratifying than the moment the words tying your heartfelt love to your soulmate are spoken, before the two of you reaffirm each other’s feelings and proceed to live happily ever after. They say that is what fairytales are spun from.

The first time Tony’s hopes are crushed is when he finds out about his parents. Soulmates don’t always end up together, even if their paths were meant to cross. The Gods may have set a time and place, but the truth is, you never know what may happen till you get there. Tony learns that his father’s soulmate had died in the war, his mother a kindred soul who helped him on his path of healing. 

But Tony’s seen, in the later parts of their marriage, how being tied to someone you’re not meant to be with takes a toll on you. It’s as though it’s a punishment for not obediently taking what you were given. 

He finds out, even later, that his mother did not have a soulmark. He curses at the heavens, because how  _ dare _ they do that to her?

The second time, it’s when his words finally materialise. He’s together with Rhodey, spread out on his couch as the two of them catch a rerun of Star Wars during winter break. It starts out as a tickle, then an itch, and the more he scratches the more it burns, and he curls into himself, yelling and clawing at his arm. 

"Tones!" Rhodey, who did not have his mark, runs to the kitchen and fetches a glass filled with cubes of ice, but by the time he returns the heat had subdued and in the midst of raw, red skin, are his words in large, cursive writing. 

Tony blinks. It’s  _ a  _ word. 

_ Tony _ , it says, simply. 

Rhodey sucks in an audible breath. "Tones, is that…"

_ Tones _ , Rhodey calls him. There’s an odd pang to his heart, to learn that his best and only friend isn’t his soulmate. "My mark."

It’s awfully plain, he thinks, strangely disappointed. He isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it seems this is not it. Tony expects himself to dive head first into relationships, to have some fun while he’s still single. What if one of his one night stands, his  _ soulmate _ , calls him Tony, but he misses the signs, the ‘best feeling in the world’? 

But then Rhodey smiles, brighter than the sun, and says, "That’s actually kinda neat. You’ll realise you’re helplessly in love with your soulmate just from the way they say your name."

And that, Tony can agree in complete darkness, doesn’t sound so bad. 

*

It was Stark for quite some time. 

They started on a rocky path, trying to maneuver their way to safety together without (literally) killing the other. Usually, Tony would steer clear of someone who doesn’t like him, someone who knew his father, but circumstances never used to take alien invasions into consideration. 

Cap, he calls the man out of time. Cap, Capsicle,  _ Rogers _ on a particularly bad day. It doesn’t feel right to call him by his name.  _ Steve _ . A blessed name, a hero’s name, one that’s untouched by darkness. Tony’s always thought it was amazing how Captain America managed to stay the way he is even in times of war. He’s glad to learn that the old man isn’t as perfect as history books make him out to be. 

*

It strikes him, when Steve calls him  _ Tony _ , relief clear in his voice. It doesn’t come abruptly like a strike of lightning, like what they used to tell him. It’s a feeling that’s been piling up for months, for years, and in that moment seems to settle down somewhere deep within Tony.  _ I love you _ , he thinks. His mark, the one in Steve’s handwriting, tingles in recognition - or is that approval? If not for his suit, it would be painfully transparent what’s going through his head. 

Instead Tony schools his expression into one that doesn’t scream  _ I’m Captain America’s soulmate! _ and flips up his faceplate. He gives an excuse he can’t hear over the thudding of his heart, something that might have been  _ I’m fine, stop worrying _ , and peaces out of the scene.

Steve never leaves him alone for too long, now. He comes down to his lab later that same day, overriding whatever protocol Tony’s set up because Tony gave him the power to, and forcibly sits him down. “If you won’t let SHIELD look at your injuries, then at least let me.”

And in Tony’s mind, the words  _ I love you  _ are on repeat indefinitely. He’s finally met his soulmate, and he  _ loves  _ him, but he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what he would do if Steve doesn’t love him back.

*

He tells nobody. Not Happy, not Rhodey, not Pepper. Not even JARVIS, though he suspects his AI has picked up on what is going on, because Tony wrote his code. The difference is, Tony can order JARVIS to never bring the subject up, and he will listen. So he is content with that.

*

He will tell Steve soon, Tony thinks. Even after Ultron, Steve has stayed. It must be love.

*

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks for the first time in years.

Tony sees the exact moment his words, somewhere on Steve’s body, are said. He wonders if that was how he looked when Steve said  _ Tony _ . 

“So was I.”

The Captain America shield falls onto the ground, and Steve’s face crumples. Is it in horror that his soulmate is someone who wants to kill his best friend of a century? Is it in regret that he is ready to kill his newly found soulmate? Is it something else, something Tony hasn’t dared himself to think since the Accords? Is it in disbelief that the universe has just confirmed Steve is in love with Tony?

“Did you know?” Steve throws the words back at him. And because Tony is done being a coward, he flips his faceplate up, letting his raw emotions show. Then, feeling braver, he steps out of his suit entirely.

“I did.”

Steve swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He pulls back his cowl, and they simply stare at each other. Neither has forgotten about Barnes; the man has likely found his way to safety. But in this moment, when soulmate meets soulmate with the knowledge of who the other is, there is nothing else.

“Can I…” Steve jerks forward by half a step, looking more pained than Tony thinks is possible. “Tony, is it okay if-”

“Yes,” Tony blurts out, because he will say yes to anything in this moment. Steve asks him to let Barnes go? Yes. Steve asks him to leave? Yes. Steve asks him to get naked? Well, it’s a little cold here, but it will be an absolute yes.

What Steve actually does is this: He takes shaky steps toward Tony, who too is trembling. From the cold or the nerves, he isn’t sure. Steve approaches until their breaths mingle, and then he whispers, “Tony, may I please kiss you?”

Tony answers by taking the final step, pressing their cracked lips together. That’s all it is, their lips meeting each other for the first time, an affirmation of their feelings. When they part, it’s with a sigh.

“Where do we go from here?”

Tony clutches onto what he can of Steve’s suit. “I don’t know, Steve. But wherever it is, maybe we can go together, for real this time?”

It’s ridiculous, Tony thinks, when Steve smiles, small and tentative and hopeless, and he finds it the most beautiful smile he’s seen yet.

“Yes.” 

And Tony knows then, that whatever may happen later, he will be able to look back and laugh about his ridiculous life. That day is not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even ten years down the road, but someday.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!  
> kudos and comments appreciated as always<3


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